STF News Just No Good Anymore.

To the shock of all of STF, Aye On The WeBB closed it's doors to the public. Editor Seamus "My Name Isn't Spelled Phoenetically" Hughes decided it was time for it to end, after he unwillingly insulted his competitors more than he intended.

STF was left with a predicament. Who would they turn too for news? Boycotting SNN is such fun that WeBBSights and SNN Headline news were out of the question, and what was left? Were we to leave SNN with no better competition than IveSTFya and PUN? This could not be allowed, it wasn't right.

So I went into deep thought, and decided to do something. I decided to go get myself a ham sandwich, and boy was it good. A few days later, a solution came to me. I could probably get a paper written, with as little effort as I did my old Aye articles in.

And so, The Tangled WeBB We Weave was born. Hate mail can be sent to anyone.but@me.com.

New Years, 1999

Welcome to the year 1999. In all your partying and celebrating, I’m sure you’ve forgotten what this means. What could be the downfall of all modern civilization, and, more importantly, all of STF.

That’s right, we have one short year until the year 2000 bug, the computer crash to end all crashes, and when this happens, what will become of STF? We will all suddenly be disconnected from the internet, and be eternally seperated from those on our ships?

Fear not, for even now, those in the rank of command at STF are gathering and coming up with their secret conspiracy… er… I mean document. Yes, a document. THE Y2K POST-CRASH TECHNIQUE OF STF SURVIVAL.

One idea presented is that we all dig holes to the center of the Earth in our backyard, and when we write up a post for one of our ships, we drop it in, and a volenteer living in the center of the earth will copy it up, and throw it up every hole. We would, of course, insist that that volenteer be Seamus "Bourdaa" Hughes, as what better way to get rid of him forever? This idea was rejected by the current administration, because the President is worried that his son will die of the intense heat.

Another idea presented is that we do the note in a bottle technique. All STF members would have to move to a city on an ocean, and begin a thread by putting a note in a bottle, and throwing it out to sea. When an STF member finds the message, he responds, and throws it back in. This was the top candidate for the official document, but was eventually rejected when the Cabinet wouldn’t stop bickering over whether to use the Atlantic or the Pacific.

A third idea was we get off our butts and get a job to pay for a Y2K compatable computer. After much laughter, this one was also rejected.

One of the front runners in the ideas presented was that we launch the STF satelite. We establish certain mind control ray emitters in there that, when one writes one of their posts, will be transmitted through the satellite, and all those in STF will be forced to write this down on a piece of paper of their own. Unfortunately, Colin "Electrical" Wyers pointed out that computers might be nessessary for satellites.

So as it is, STF command of yet has no definative plan for the year 2000, but rest assured, I think the moon colony idea recently proposed will pass, so STF will be safe in the year 2000.

USS Seraph Commissioned. Nickname uncertain.
By Jim Armstrong

After a long wait for the ED to pass the Columbus specs, Fleet Six is now a complete fleet. After a long wait, Bob "Fuzzy" Spurlin has been given a ship, commanding the USS Seraph.

Since this is a new ship, it doesn not yet have a nickname. Here are a few ideas for the Seraph crew.

1. Serry
2. Sarah
3. Sir
4. Raph
5. Bourdaa
6. Seramungous.
7. Sing
8. Rapheal

These are but a few of the many ideas we have for the Seraph's nickname, but if we were to go much further, we might recieve death threats, which are quite a burden.

PUN Tips Off The Tangled Surprise

The Tangled WeBB has been planned for a while, though it was attempted to keep it hush hush. We thought a big surprise, no build up, and that way, no disapointments for our readers, right?

Wrong. One of the few the Editor confided in, one Seamus "Pure Evil" Hughes published his own paper, which he stole the concept of from an old Prodigy paper. In this, he succeeded in telling everyone that the Tangled WeBB was on it's way.

Don't get too upset though. We didn't let this go without a fight. The next day, a rock crashed through the window of his quarters, and all the oxygen was sucked out. That was the intent, at least.

However, the rock missed, and crashing through the window of Linus "No nicknames come to mind" Lindblad, nearly killing him.

We'll save you the boring story of how he was miraculously saved, but needless to say, this all could have been avoided if the cows hadn't come home.

Elections, Elections, Elections!

It's that time again. It's time for STF to vote on who should be the most picked on by STF Papers for the next 8 months. Campaining can be found in the Command Area, and the Fleet OOC Area. EC Seamus "Electric Circus" Hughes has promised that anyone campaigning on a ship will be sacked. The Cantidates for Prez/Vice Prez are as follows.

Greg Hertzsch/Alan Felts: The only cantidate group who has an experienced president. They have a main belief that STF should be a fun atmosphere, and also want to come up with ways of keeping STFers from going AWOL within the first week. STFers main concern is the Hertzsch's famous Curly Hair could come alive, and destroy STF.

Bob Spurlin/Colin Wyers: Spurlin and Wyers seem like strong cantidates. They have based their entire campain on keeping STF a fun environment. One question, however, is plaguing all of us. is STF ready for a conservative as VP?

Mark Loganbach/Bill Gunty: Latest speculation is that the last name "Gunty" is an alias. This has tipped us off that they have a gun in their tea, which they could use against us! So far, it appears their campaign is based on not saying much of anything, which won't continue if they want to win.

Bob the Blob: By far the campain favourite. Though he's yet to pick a running mate, he's got full support of the Tangled WeBB Organization. Is main promise: Free Jello For All!

USS Training Wheels, What A Great Idea!

Just ignore this. It's just propoganda for a proposal in the Central HQ, which will forever be called the Central HQ, no matter what Command may say.

Finally, a Canadian Run Paper!

That's right, people. No making fun of Canada here, because your editor, and only writer as it currently stands, is a Canadian, and thus perfect in every way.

This will be the paper that stands against the jokes in the OOC Area, though we all know any joke told in the OOC Area is not worth standing against, and will fight the Constellation, with it's Canadian remarks, not that anyone cares about the Constellation.

This is the paper that will use the word 'eh' proudly, and often, as soon as we find a good spot for it.

Now lets kick some Yankee butt!

The Bot From Hell

Recently Mike "I loved that groundhog..." Bourdaa made a bot to replace Chanserv on IRC.

However, the bot soon went power crazy. It decided it hated several people, and put a few well known IRCers on AKICK, for no better reason than kicking the Bot, and flooding it, and deopping it...

People complained. I whined. Seamus "Sabrina The Teenage Witch" Hughes cried.

And so circuits were flying, as Mike searched for the problem in his Artificial Friend. Eventually, he found the problem.

Bitch mode was turned on.

Mike slapped his forhead, turned it off, and all were happy.

Engineering Class Now Available At The Academy!

Larry "I will not by this record. It is scratched." Garfield has done it. He has successfully completed the Engineering course at the Academy. When the ACmdt heard this, he told this reporter (who, by the way, is the ACmdt) "Yay! Now I only have ONE teacher I need to kill for not finishing their course."

The engineering course will likely be a popular one, because it has become a MUST if one wishes to work as a ship designer. Because of this, Larry linked to it in the EDept.

This, however, made the ACmdt confused, since because of this he was getting news of those who had passed before he fixed the Academy Index Page to link to the Eng classes. He was beginning to think that people were spying on his directories. However, one should ignore the ACmdt, he's just paranoid.

Mark Wilson

Congratulations, Mark, your name is in a copy of The Tangled WeBB We Weave. Buy 10 copies, and send one to all your relatives.

Aye on the Competition

Hey, Ballway*! You said in WeBBSights that there was no more competition so it looked like your little section "Aye on the Competition" would come to an end. Well now you got Pun and the Tangled WeBB to worry about, so now you have to keep doing it!

HA!

But your article posed a good question for us all, which I will re-pose for those who, like the majority, boycott SNN. Whatever happened to IveSTFya? Well, in answer to that, I'll just say that it's last article was just before I decided to do Tangled WeBB. Uhh... Maybe I should go hide that knife.

* = Last name used due to confusion between the "Mike B."s of STF

Competitive Nitpick: WeBBSights Made A Typo!

A recent WeBBSights referred to one Linus Lindblad as a Commander, which is in fact wrong.

Linus enjoyed this. He enjoyed it too much. He began to use the nick CmdrLinusL in IRC. Then, along came Colin "Farm Hand" Wyers.

Those of you who know Colin, know that many things do not amuse him. Let's face it, the farmer has a temper. When he saw a fake rank in IRC, he got upset. He immediately banned the nick from the channel.

It didn't end there, though. You remember the Bot from hell? It had the gall to remove Colin's bans. Colin got so angry, he banned the Bot, without kicking it, so nothing came of that. He eventually lowered himself to using the AKICK on chanserv to eliminate the false rank.

See what happens when you read anything but the Tangled WeBB? Lives may not be lossed, but one can get very angry at the bot.

Expect More From The Tangled WeBB!

Well, you made it through the entire issue. I'm sure by now you're thinking "Now this was a waste of time." And, you know what, you're absolutely right!

Tangled WeBB isn't about high learning, it's about having a whole lot of fun. If you laughed at least once during this entire issue, it was worth it.

What? Not even once? I guess I'll have to write another one then. Be prepared, because at any moment, an issue from the newsletter from hell could be back.

And so might the Tangled WeBB.